Originally published by Bruce Kasanoff on LinkedIn: Always Be Thinking, "Help This Person"
Every time you encounter another person, three words should be in your mind: help this person. It's not altruistic. Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your career and improve the quality of your life.
When you walk into Starbucks for a coffee, think help this person about the barista who serves you. Instead of being frustrated that he isn't moving fast enough, see if you can make him smile. Better yet, tell him to keep the change.
When the phone rings on a busy day, don't get frustrated by the interruption. Instead, think help this person while you answer the phone. Doing so will change your demeanor, your thought process, and the entire interaction.
If you have a subordinate who isn't pulling her weight, instead of criticizing her, every time you see her think help this person. This doesn't mean let her slide, or ignore her shortcomings. It means help her either improve her skills or find a position better suited to her strengths. But don't just brush her aside; really help her.
This is incredibly difficult for many of us, including me. It's so easy to slip into Hurried Disgruntled mode and be critical or annoyed or impatient. But doing so harms yourself and the people around you. Being irritated seldom solves anything, and it certainly won't win you any friends.
So think help this person. Always.
But wait a minute – I know what some of you are thinking. What about the people who take credit for other people's work? What about the rich and powerful who have gotten that way by crushing others? Doesn't their success prove me wrong?
Not at all. Sure, there are some people who take the exact opposite strategy.
But it takes real skill and focus to succeed by being evil, and most of us just don't have the fortitude to pull it off.
For those of us with a soul and a heart, the only real choice is to succeed by helping others.
By always thinking help this person, you will change the ways that others perceive you. There is no faster or more effective way to change your interactions and relationships.
People will think you are more perceptive, attentive and understanding... because you will be more perceptive, attentive and understanding.
That's why this way of thinking is not altruistic; it is selfish, in the best sense of the word. The single best way to help yourself is to always be looking for ways to help other people. Yes, you will be making the world a better place, and in the course of your life you will help many thousands of people. But don't do it because you ought to, or because it's the "right" thing to do.